Rachel: On Wednesday is the Ruby party; I get to go and you don’t!

Me: Oh, look at this email I just got!  “Hi, I found your resume online.  We are seeking Ruby and Rails developers for an exciting opportunity—”

Rachel: Shut up!  Shut up!  Shut up!  Shut up!  Shut up!  I hate you.

Tim: You were trying to make me jealous of your party, so I tried to make you jealous of my employability.

Rachel: But you can come to the Ruby party if you want to.  I was making it sound awesome so you would want to come.

Tim: Aren’t you jealous of my employability? Come on, admit it; you’re jealous of my employability.

Rachel: I’m SO jealous!  I’m jealous every morning when I wake up at 7 am, and I’m like, “Wish I had somewhere to go!  Wish I had someone who would pay me to go somewhere and work really hard for them!”  Then you wake up at like noon, and stumble into work, and drink Mike’s Hard Lemonade all day while your coworkers ride in circles on Go-Karts, and nobody gets any work done, and somehow your stupid company decides to keep paying you!!  I hate you!”

(speechless)